DEAR READER
Like most kids, I started soccer at a young age. I was probably about three or four the first time I kicked a ball. For me and my sister, it became our thing. A shared love of the game between the two of us and our dad, who we watched growing up.
Throughout my career I have learned a lot about myself, soccer, traveling, you name it. I want to pass down some of the biggest learning lessons to you.
lesson one. Have Fun.
Fun on the pitch. Fun with your friends. Fun in training. Soak it all up and have fun.
I had a local club team that was your average club team. It wasn't one of those crazy elite ones, but it helped me learn. I played on a boys' team until I was about 13 and then after that, I would play up a few age groups.
Even at the high school level, it was not super competitive, but it was fun. My sister and I would make it a competition between the two of us to see who could score the most goals per week.
lesson TWO. SET GOALS.
Beyond that, make sure the goals are manageable and controllable.
Going into college at Wake Forest, I told myself I wanted to play at least half the games. That was my goal. Whether it was subbing for five minutes or playing a full 90, I wanted at least half the season.
At the end of freshman year, we ended up winning the ACC tournament and my roommate, Aubrey Kingsbury, ended up saving three PKs in the final. It was a huge year for both of us, and I just remember we both got back to our dorm room and were just like, what just happened?
At the beginning of the season, the goal was to play in half the games. In the end, we won the conference. Setting those small achievable goals helps insurmountable with the bigger goals.
lesson THREE. BE OPEN TO CHANGE.
It’s a hard one, but it will set you apart.
When it came time to go professional, I ended up not entering the National Women’s Soccer League draft. Instead, I went abroad.
There was a major soccer culture shock going overseas. It’s not like college where you're maybe two- or three-years difference. These girls could be 10 years different. I moved in with a girl who was 12 years older than me and one who was five years younger.
Add in the fact that there were language differences with one of my roommates speaking Norwegian and the other speaking Dutch. Not being able to speak German, while playing and adapting to soccer in Germany was tough.
The speed of the game was faster. The play was more tactical. Decision-making had to be instantaneous which was a major learning curve. That experience was so important because living with different people, speaking different languages, and picking up the game in a new way forced me to be open to change.
When I first joined the NWSL it was in the early stages of needing to grow and change. We were still in host families and that was only during the season. There were four months out of the year where there was no paycheck, no home, no nothing, and you were kind of like, okay, well, I hope I can come back fit and ready. It was a big challenge and forced me to be open to changing environments and teams.
Being open to change has brought me countless opportunities throughout my career. The chance to go to Australia in the offseason, going to various NWSL teams, my time at Liverpool, and now Gotham FC.
That journey to Gotham was wild and up in the air. If you were to ask me six months ago, I couldn't have written that storyline. I had the full intention of going back to Liverpool, but Gotham needed me to fill a role they were missing, and it worked out to be something more permanent.
It all circles back to learning, growing, adapting, and ultimately being willing to be uncomfortable in moments of change.
lesson four. enjoy every moment.
Enjoying every minute you have on the field is crucial because those next games are not guaranteed. Not many people can say they love something enough to play for years growing up, into college, and maybe even professionally. So soak up that love and show it on the field.
It goes by so fast. I have moved so many times during my career going to Europe, Australia, the U.S., and then back again to all the places. Enjoying those moments and doing whatever you can to be fully present is crucial.
The game demands so much it's not always going to be something you like. You are not always going to get the ball. You are not always going to have the best touch. You are not always going to have the game go the way you want.
But, if you can call back on your strengths, the moments that you did well, the moments that you find joy in, you’ll excel. It will help build confidence, even if it is the baseline, and ensure you keep the joy of the game.
lesson five. find consistency.
Whether that is in the form of a daily routine or always having the same blanket when you travel, find something that grounds you. I learned from college that it is so important to find little things that make things homey. It will go miles to make you feel comfortable in this new, uncomfortable situation.
Even now, I feel like I don’t have a defined home. My dad’s address is still my permanent address and even that has changed since I first started. Home is people and items that bring joy. I have lived with one or two suitcases and have learned what's most important, what I really need, and at the end of the day remember that I can always get new clothes from Goodwill.
I think I've just learned that you have to settle in as soon as possible and find your comfort zone, even though the place is brand new. I have a few things that I keep with me always that make me feel home away from home as temporarily as it is, and it helps me get settled.
I think as soon as things outside of soccer settle in, it helps you calm down and play better on the field. Whenever I move to a new place and it feels homey, I'm like, okay, I can breathe. Now I just have to go to practice. Settling and finding that consistent meaning of home or routine eases the stress of constantly being on the go.
Keep those lessons in mind and if you've made it to the end here is one final stretch of advice from me.
When you turn pro soccer isn't just a passion and a hobby anymore, it's your job. You have to be ready to perform every single day and you have to be ready to go mentally, physically, and at the highest level. I think what I've learned is I have to go training with the same love and joy of the game and just be happy that I get the opportunity to play each day.
Whenever I would lose that happiness and joy, it felt like more of a job, and it wasn't rewarding. It would just get more and more stressful. So, when you're going from college to pro, you're going to be challenged, but you need to have the same confidence that you had in college to be successful at the next level.
I think you can get a lot of that confidence through that excitement and love of the game that you had, even when you were younger. Remember the environment can change, but that person is still the same and you can bring that same level wherever you are.
Good luck and keep learning,
Katie Stengel
